In The Twentieth Year, What I Have Learned Since
photos above from my senior year, by Lee McDavid
I cannot believe it’s been twenty years since I graduated high school.
I am so unbelievable blessed in the journey I’ve had since then. And, I have a bit of a confession to type as I look over my time in high school and since then. High school wasn’t all that fun at first, but I’m grateful for those moments.
Being the nerd in one part of my high school years has had it’s benefits. It has allowed me to be more empathetic to others, and to sense when others are hurting. I wasn’t even just a nerd I was an outright outcast. I think some who know me now can’t believe that but I was. So much of that was self-imposed, actually, because I just had not a single clue as to how to interact with my classmates. Making friends did not come easily, and there’s a variety of factors and reasons that went into that but the fact of the matter was that I was different.
Some takeaways from my experience are great overall lessons, especially for new high school grads.
1- There will be people who you didn’t like at some point in your life, or currently don’t like, cheer them on anyway:
There are people who I went to private school with who I did not care for one last bit in high school. I saw them as mean and I was terrified to talk to them*. In hindsight, I was an easy target. It doesn’t make it ok, but it makes it understandable. But now that we can connect as adults, I love seeing their various updates on social media. Photos of their kids, awards they receive. I love being able to cheer them on and it makes me feel good when they do the same for me. Cheering on one person doesn’t take away from your own achievements, and even if you don’t like the other person that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to feel good.
*I should also note that I wasn’t always the nicest person myself, and there’s likely others who saw me the same way.
2- You never know when someone will become a friend:
Similar to the above there have been countless times when I have met someone and for whatever reason thought I didn’t like them… only to become friends later.
3- Be open to new experiences:
I was so closed off to trying new things in college. I was scared of venturing out of my immediate world that I didn’t go study abroad, or make many road trips, or try an off the wall internship. Some of this could have been because 9/11 happened my freshman year of college, and I was indoctrinated by so many to be scared of the worlds I didn’t know. Don’t be scared. That doesn’t mean be reckless, or stupid, be safe- but still explore.
4- Love big:
Love is a gift. I don’t mean falling in love, although that is a gift, but I mean just loving others in general. Tell them how you feel, write it down. I found a note last year that popped up in my FB memories. It’s from a dear friend who I considered to be a brother, and he is telling me some of the nicest things anyone has ever said. I will always treasure this and our friendship, even though we haven’t seen each other in years:
5- Pray, meditate, take time for yourself:
However you do it, take time for yourself to think, to breathe, to reflect. For me I like to remind myself of the love that God has for me by revisiting some favorite Bible verses. It’s so easy to pray when times are hard but it’s also important to do so when times are good. The same goes for breathing in deeply or meditating. We often turn to these things when under pressure or feeling sad, but they are just as important when you’re feeling good. That’s something BIG I got from my Homegrown Yoga Teacher Training, the need for space to just breathe, and reflect.
Recent graduates, I can’t believe it’s been twenty years since I was in your shoes. It felt like the world was so big and I was going to take over it all. I had these dreams of achieving it all! Had you asked me just a few years ago had I fulfilled all of the promises I held for myself, I would have said no… because I wasn’t where I wanted to be. Divorced, in debt, career all sideways, and alone- none of it was what I had wanted. But now I know all of these things were to bring me to where I was supposed to be all along. I am happy, and you will be, too.
Love,
Molly Kate
