I’m Not Taking My Christmas Lights Down
Call me tacky, and that’s fine.
My original plan was to wait until Epiphany to take the down, like the good Episcopalian that I am.
But Epiphany was when the whole world changed, in so many ways. I can’t help but see the parallels.
Epiphany is the end of the Christmas season in the church calendar- and it is the day the Three Magi found their way to Baby Jesus. It is also when Jesus was revealed in his physical manefestation to the Gentiles, according to some traditions.
The phrase “reaching an epiphany” is also used when people have a revelation. All of these things happening right now…. in some ways, it makes the world much simpler- more clear.
One of my favorite Bible quotes is Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” It’s a favorite because when I found out I was pregnant with my son, my oldest, I was in a miserable marriage. And right when I found out we were having a boy, I went to St, Simons with my mom- and he went to Helen. We went our separate ways, when we should have been together, to vacation. I went shopping at the Bailey Boys outlet store and they had these ceramic crosses. One had that Psalm, and I bought it for my son’s room. He was wonderfully made, even in the midst of a marriage that would not survive.
Yesterday, that Psalm was said during the Highland Hills Baptist Church service led by my friend Jake Hall (aside: Pastor? Reverend? Jake I don’t even know your title help me out here haha). And I…. burst into tears. So often, I do not feel wonderfully made. You can blame it on the pandemic. You can blame it on years of being in a marriage in which I was told I did not deserve to live. You can blame it on so many things…. but it is there.
And I’m not the only one. I’ve seen more friends posting on social media their own struggles of stepping into the light. Their own darkness creeping in. Their need for someone to reach out and check on them. I love them for their bravery because I am not one who can say it. I’m not one who can say I need a hug. I would much rather offer light and love to others- that’s what makes me feel better. And if you are someone, one of the rare ones, I have said it to- then please know you are in the most inner of my circles. This, in this post and podcast, this will likely be one of the only times I say it out loud- the courage to do so given by watching so many others say it. In admitting ones darkness, light can be let in.
There are other ways of letting the light in. I am finishing my yoga teacher training- and the healing power of being still, meditation, restorative yoga is something I’m hoping to spread. Paying for someone behind me in line. Leaving or mailing notes to someone.
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day- and I know he is often quoted all over the places. Out of context, might I add. Dr. King was revolutionary. He was killed for it. Our country has never strayed too far from that fact, but it feels all the more closer to it after January 6th, 2021. But it was always there, hiding, in the background.
So I am leaving my Christmas lights up- for now- in the hopes that perhaps they are making someone smile. And I will do more to light the world around me.
Love to all y’all,
Molly
