“Here I Am, SEND ME”

Here I am God- tell me what you want from me.

Your gifts that you have given me have become more clear…. I never knew prophecy was my gift, until you made it clear. I never knew my writings and my words could be here and meant for bringing others closer to You.

“I am called. I am chosen. I am gifted by God. My hands are open in offering. Take all that I am, I am yours. My hands are open to receive whatever blessings you have for me.” – Sally Ulrey (Episcopal Diocese of Atlanta).

Like a stream that starts out small and rolls downhill into a bubbling river, Your calling has bubbled up inside of Me. Here I am God- tell me what you want from me.

It grows louder and clearer the longer I think on it, and in communion with others- in this growing community- it becomes more clear what You want of Me.

“I am called. I am chosen…. take all that I am…. my hands are open to receive whatever blessings you have for me.”

For those who have been left behind to wander alone, I offer an outstretched hand, a palm filled with love and another ready to pull those who want up.

I am called, and chosen- here I am God, as you’ve always had me.

You’ve always had me here, these weeks of discernment have made it more clear. Now, Mothering Father, send me out to do the works you have given Me to do. To love, to serve, as faithful witnesses of all that is open to us. Let me continue with a clarity of spirit that had yet to emerge before- but somehow the sparks were always inside… ready to go forth and be set afire.

Here I am, God, send Me.

I still don’t quite know what the path you’ve lain before me is… is it through ordination? Is it through lay ministry?

The only thing I do know is, I’m not afraid to discuss it out loud anymore. I do know you are calling me for something, a way to use the voice that for so long felt like a curse… the inability to just shut up when others wanted me to. To lay down and cower under someone who said You were not for me… and the only place I belonged was in Hell.

Because it’s not true, I am for You.

Here I am, God. Send. Me.

I ask for each of your prayers as I go to Here I Am Day this Saturday at St. Phillips Cathedral in Atlanta, as I take these next steps of discernment of figuring out just who I am in the church and what kind of role I can play. Just who God is calling me to be.

And know, if you ever need a spiritual home- I’ve been there, too. He/She sent Me.