My Baby Got Me Kicked Out of Church & I Need Some Prayers

If you know me, you know I’ve got a temper.

The cool thing about aging is you learn to fight your battles.

A few weeks back my family and I were visiting another church to support a dear friend.

I knew things were going to be iffy when my boyfriend asked someone if the men’s room had a changing table for our baby and rather than answering him the person simply guided me to the restroom. If it wasn’t for the fact that a- I needed to use the restroom myself and b- I didn’t want to embarrass my friend I would have called said person out.

We would get into the church for the service and I would attempt to cover the baby’s ears- for as many times as I have kicked myself for not ordering the baby earmuffs for loud moments, I would not have thought about needing them for church. No-one mentioned a nursery for babies, and I preferred to hold him when in a strange setting anyway so I went with it… again.

Fast forward- my baby is cooing and I’m just starting to feel like maybe I need to prepare for an exit strategy in case he gets worse and next thing I know- there’s a security looking guy complete with ear piece in the aisle telling me I need to come with him.

I walked out with him thinking he’s going to offer to show me… well I’m not quite sure what. But maybe a quiet place I can go with my baby?

Oh no. I’m told they can’t have me and my baby distracting others. The minister was about to bring in the Holy Spirit.

I was… stunned. And angry. My initial response was to post something to my Instagram:

“First time in my LIFE I’ve been asked to leave a sanctuary because of my baby making too much noise because the minister is getting to ‘the Holy Spirit’. 

He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t having a fit. He was babbling. 

I will never come back. I was dubious as it was about the minister staring me down as I’m sure I had looks of doubt on my face as he condemned ‘this generation’ and I wondered what exactly he meant by that. 

Also since I was asked to leave and sit away from everyone I don’t have my diaper bag or my purse or anything to care for my child. 

Was the guy nice when he asked me to leave? Sure of course. Very polite. Even apologize to me afterwards 

But it sure makes me grateful that I attend a church where a babbling child can’t distract a minister enough to the point of being asked to leave

I’ll also add that as a visitor NO ONE approached me as I came in to let me know a talking child isn’t allowed in the sanctuary and guided me to where I should take him. That would have been a good idea 

Do better @graceathens – this isn’t how you win hearts and minds. It’s also the kind of thing that can put off visitors and people who might be considering becoming a Christian. 

Oh and y’all go do something good with the $20 I put in your offering plate….

#graceathens”

Yeah… I was mad. Remember the temper? But I held off and I can’t quite say why.

Later, upon reflecting more, I thought about how sincere the man was who told us to leave. I can’t tell if he was genuinely sorry or what- at the very least he put on a great show of being sincere and at best he meant it. 

And I actually felt sorry for him. Imagine straying so far from Jesus’s words? This man who said bring the children unto me- to believe that the babbles of a baby would distract others from the minister as he was bringing the Holy Spirit? 

And then also, to truly believe that the Holy Spirit can be brought at a specific moment…. By one man? 

This is one of many reasons people don’t like church, and it makes me SAD. Of all the places that should be open to everyone it’s a church. And yet so many have cloistered it off for only the select few- with this idea that the Holy Spirit and the Trinity can only be there for you in certain moments. Rather than the idea that the love of God and the Trinity are with us at all times- ready and waiting for whenever our hearts can bring them in.

My community is one that is open to everyone, and I love that. Even looking at the Epiphany season brochure for the church services- I look down and just smile at this photo. How many times are Jesus and those around Him portrayed to look like Europeans? These men do not look European.

Now, I get it, why artists of the Renaissance painted images of themselves unto the faces of God and Jesus and those around them. But this right here shows a willingness to correct that narrative. To speak Truth to Power.

This church I visited has got their theology twisted beyond just showing the men of Jesus’s time as white men who look like them.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”- Matthew 19:14. And here’s where I have to laugh at myself in a sidebar because I don’t have Bible verses memorized and I had to look that one up.

I feel so sorry for this man, or these people, who truly believe that a child can distract from the love of God- from the Holy Spirit- without recognizing that the Holy Spirit in in everything. One man cannot bring it, and those who have God in their hearts cannot be distracted from it all by the coos of a child. If anything, the joyful noise of the most innocent among us can be a reminder of the Love God has for us.

This incident has served to push me further into something I’ve been pondering for years- and Finally made the formal first step to do so. I have started the discernment process of a more formalized service to my church. My thoughts are to become a Deacon- but part of this discernment means means meeting with my minister and others to see is this really what I’m called to do? I’m not quite sure, but I do know there’s more I’m supposed to do. As a deacon or perhaps in some other role. I’m nervous and excited, and yes I’m doing this while also applying to PhD programs. But hey- I did my 200 hour yoga training while finished my Masters so… perhaps this is a good sign?

Either way, I ask for your prayers… good vibes… and whatever else positive you can put out into the world for me. I believe that church has left so many behind, and even been harmful to many more. I’d like to do whatever I can in my small role to just love on others. I’d like to show people that us Episcopalians are a little different, and perhaps we are your home… if you’d like one.