It’s Hate Week

This week, both Isaiah and Chris are back as guest pickers.

With so many teams having byes this week, we had to throw in a couple of random games just to keep things normal around here!

Isaiah’s Picks
#1  Ohio St – bye More like THE Bye Week, am I right? Hands-down the dorkiest thing in college football is Ohio State’s petulant addition of “THE” to distinguish themselves from such fine houses of academic thought as Cuyahoga and Denison. Go home, Buckeyes. No one who wasn’t born within a stone’s throw of a Skyline Chili thinks your nickname is cool.
#2 Baylor – bye More like ‘Byelor,’ am I right? These dudes are probably just going to huddle up in a dorm room and binge-play Madden 25 in order to satiate their junkie need to put up a thousand points up every week.
#3 Clemson @ NC State  38-32 THE WORLD FAMOUS TEXTILE BOWL. It would be wonderful to see NC State upset Clemson and send them spiraling down the rankings. I think this game will be a three hour reminder that sometimes wonderful things can still happen in this world.
#4 LSU – bye More like ‘bye-you,’ am I right? Nah, I’m just kidding, fellas. Geaux take a “me day.” Good on you for beating Florida.
#5 TCU v West Virginia  **Thursday night game  49-27 The team that seems bound and determined to make their scoreboard read 99 every week versus the team that doesn’t have a single Big 12 win this season? What a coin toss.
#6 Michigan St – bye More like… byechigan? I don’t know. You guys did what you were supposed to. You beat Harbaugh and his half-dozen angry slung headset temper tantrums. Good job, fellas. You deserve a good rest.
#7 Alabama – bye I’d say “More like Alabyema” but that’s how most Crimson Tide fans pronounce it already, am I right? Cue the Paul Finebaum Show: “PAWL, Roberta from Demopolis here. I know it’s s’posed to be a lay-around week but I really do think Coach Saban needs to get them boys doing 2-a-days and then keep an extra close eye on ’em so they don’t get too soft before we play LSU. ROLLLL DAAAMN TIIIIDE.”
#8 Stanford @ Washington St 20-9 Look, Washington State. ESPN Game Day decided to ask Temple to the big Halloween dance instead of you and I know that sucks. Chin up. We still need you to beat Stanford. Ignore that prediction. I have faith you can do it.
#9 Notre Dame @ Temple  30-24  Temple. You stole Game Day away from Washington State. Now it’s up to you to knock Rudy down a peg or two.
#10 Iowa v Maryland 24-17 They should name this game the There Will Be Blood bowl. Just kidding. Iowa is good and will probably win, but they aren’t the threat that Northwestern game made them out to be. Bonus Fun Fact: Maryland has the coolest state flag in the nation.
#11 Florida v Georgia  ** in J’ville – Florida is home team this year, if I remembered correctly 24-21 Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate (inhale) Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate. I will probably have to go in to Witness Protection after saying this but here goes: I hope Georgia wins and I know if they lose the entire state will be bummed out for a week. However, if Georgia loses and Mark Richt finally gets his walking papers as a result it will have been for the Greater Good.

Mercer @ The Citadel  35-24 “Hey, look at that. Mercer’s playing the Bulldogs this week.” “Oh really? Mississippi State or UGA?” “No. The Citadel.” “Oh. Hm. This year, I think I’d rather play either Mississippi State or UGA.”
Texas @ Iowa St 42-13 I accidentally wrote “Texas – bye” at first. After thinking about it for a minute I think that was more or less accurate.
#14 Oklahoma v Kansas 59-14 This game will probably be even more lopsided than this. I am giving Kansas the benefit of the doubt in being able to pick up those two touchdowns. Don’t let me down, Kansas. Fun fact: Your state is the one I always have trouble remembering when I try to name all fifty.
#19 Ole Miss v Auburn 31-24 How great would it be if Georgia somehow still made it to the SEC Championship game and Auburn didn’t even get a bowl game? Ole Miss, here’s hoping you’ll think that would be hilarious and lend us a helping hand.