The Top 10 Reasons To Value Your Parents Stuff
There’s been many articles floating about here lately about how today’s generation of Baby Boomers does NOT want their parents stuff. I’m here to beg you: please don’t throw it away.
The most recent list I read included items like heavy antique furniture, five sets of china, and paper items such as old postcards. Which doesn’t even delve into how sick it is that we’re now making clickbait listicle articles on what over privileged, spoiled, non grateful for their WWII era parents/grandparents, Baby Boomers/Gen X/Millennial don’t want. However, I’ll digress on that for the moment.
The website NextAvenue.org has the article “Your Top 10 Items Your Kids Don’t Want” from author of No Thanks Mom: The Top Ten Objects Your Kids Do NOT Want (and what to do with them) Elizabeth Stewart. In other words, a book that had to have been written from someone NOT FROM the South because bless her heart I just can’t imagine anyone from these parts actually penning something like that. (Further digging shows me that her bio says she lives in Santa Barbara- so California of course smh- went to undergrad at Tufts in Boston, and got her Masters in Historic Preservation.)
Her list, quite frankly, has me clutching my pearls. Literally.
1- Heavy, dark, antique furniture makes her list of things that people’s kids don’t want. Let me tell y’all something, that heavy furniture may not be in vogue to you at the moment- but there’s a reason these items are still around. They were likely passed down from the parents, grandparents, or even great-grandparents of today’s 80 and 90 year olds. They were made with such quality that no one can replicate it today. All of that Ikea crap (and I do like to mix my share of that junk in with other things) just falls apart after some time. Nothing made today will last generation after generation. In that regard, these things are also budget friendly because they are FREE. My grandmothers know I’ll take anything they want to give me because it’s something I don’t have to pay for and it’s of such quality that not only will it last- but I couldn’t afford it otherwise.
2- Linens. Dr. Elizabeth says that today’s 20 year old may not even own an iron. Well first of all, ok yes I hate to iron, but absolutely nothing can replace linen napkins and any Southern woman worth her salt knows this. I will grit my teeth and break out the iron and ironing board to have proper napkins for Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving at LEAST. Not to even mention that 20 year olds should probably invest in an iron if they want to have a decent job someday- perhaps you can wear jeans now but eventually don’t you want to work your way up to the top?
3- She also cites books- and, I dunno y’all. I personally love the smell of an old book. Sometimes, it’s also really cool to read them and think about how things were when they were written. Sometimes it’s a good reminder of how much things change. Then she goes on to talk about their value and how to calculate it and whatnot.
4- She says donate steamer trunks, sewing machines, and film projectors. I have seen many a super cool steamer trunk or sewing machine made use of in a home of a friend. I have a steamer trunk of my own and would gladly take more! USE THEM. They’ve held up all these years for good reason. If nothing else, let your kids use them for their toy storage or dress up clothes. Kids have wild imaginations and those things can just help liven their princess or pirate play.
5- The one I might agree with to some extent are the porcelain figurines, I can see how those are difficult to hang onto and reuse in some kind of way. But porcelain pots or bowls (which she doesn’t mention) make excellent containers for flowers and such.
6- “Your grown children will not polish silver-plate, this I can guarantee. If you give them covered casserole dishes, meat platters, candy dishes, serving bowls, tea services, gravy boats, butter dishes and candelabra, you will be persona-non-grata. They might polish sterling silver flatware and objects, but they won’t polish the silver-plated items your mom entertained with. The exception may be silver-plated items from Cristofle, Tiffany, Cartier, Asprey, and other manufacturers of note.” WHO ARE THESE HEATHENS THAT DON’T LOVE SILVER TRAYS?! There’s nothing better than serving cookies or sandwiches even for the most casual of occasions on a silver platter. It’s the easiest way to dress up any presentation. Not to mention that polishing the objects can turn into a legit arm workout- thus, saving time from going to the gym!! Win win, y’all.
7- Dr. Elizabeth says that modern decor doesn’t work with Persian rugs. I beg to differ. You can easily create a lovely, clean room and jazz it up with a beautiful rug. Of course, if they’re falling apart and not worth repairing that’s a whole other issue.
8- “Unless the scrap value for silver is high enough for a meltdown, matching sets of sterling flatware are hard to sell because they rarely go for ‘antique’ value. Formal entertaining is not a priority these days. And of course, sterling must be hand-washed and dried. Can you see your kids choosing to use the silver? Same goes for crystal: The sets you have are too precious, and the wine they hold is too small a portion. Period.”
TEAR MY HEART OUT NOW!!! Bless them oh sweet baby Jesus- for they know not what they do! Every set of silver and crystal has a story- not to mention how they dress up a table. And- really? Too small a portion of wine? Are we drunkards? Or is this another great example of how Americans too often over serve their portions?
Look, I understand a finely crafted modern wine glass and how it helps you better experience the wine. I can appreciate that. I have some of those myself. But those glasses just can’t hold a candle to the beauty that’s my mother and grandmother’s crystal sets.
9- Fine porcelain: “This is the saddest story I have to tell my clients: your grown kids and grown grandkids DO NOT want and will NEVER want five or more fine china services. They don’t even want one. They do not see the logic. They don’t want porcelain tea sets or dessert, fish, or fruit services either. Ask yourself, when was the last time you witnessed your grown son using a saucer?”
Oh, dear Dr. Elizabeth- just tell your clients to ship these items straight to Macon, Georgia. I’ll take them all! I adore using a porcelain tea cup complete with saucer large enough to also hold my snacks. In fact, mixing up fine porcelain and serving a dinner with more than one set can be quite lovely when done right.
This one just kills me.
“Paper Ephemera
Things like family snapshots, old greeting cards and postcards are called paper ephemera. Old photos are not worth anything unless the sitter is a celebrity or linked with an important historical event or the subject is extremely macabre, like a death memorial image. Old greeting cards are not valuable unless handmade by a famous artist or sent by Jackie O. Postcards are valued mainly for the stamps.”
KILLS. ME. Look- I get selling off the other items. But this is people’s personal history. I don’t see what is wrong with using your knowledge, and book, to slap some sense in some people and tell them to get over themselves and saved these things. Old photos are worth MEMORIES. Old papers turn up treasures that you might never find otherwise. My best example is this right here:
My grandmother gave my mom this envelope, saying “oh I think Molly would like this”. Open it up, and it turns out my grandmother’s grandmother RAN FOR CITY COUNCIL IN 1935 AND WE NEVER KNEW IT. For all I know, this is the only copy of the speech! So yes, I have it digitally saved but I also plan to frame this. If she had thrown it away, we might never know.
To Dr. Elizabeth’s credit, she does recommend saving these digitally. But still. Original postcards and papers and such just aren’t the same in a digital only format.
Perhaps Dr. Elizabeth isn’t a villainess for writing her list, perhaps she’s just shining a light on what is really happening out there. But I’d love to know if she’s ever travelled to our parts of the world to see if it’s happening here. With all the estate sales and such that I go to, I see that even if people don’t want their parents stuff- there’s someone out there who would treasure it. So please, don’t just throw items away. If you don’t want it, at least Dr. Elizabeth has a list of suggestions for what to do with it.
Part of what really bothers me about this excerpt of her book is she talks about the monetary value of these items, which is understandable given that this is her profession, but what is missing in this article (and I hope she touches on it somewhere in the book) is that many times the value in these items isn’t monetary. It’s that our loved ones treasured them. And there’s tremendous value in that alone.
Love to all y’all,
Molly
