When This Town Gets Too Small

We’ve all been there.

That uncomfortable moment when we walk in to a crowd, and we see a group of people staring. At us. And you know they were just talking about you.

It may feel a little bit paranoid at times, but your gut just doesn’t steer you wrong- especially when you know that one in the group as an issue with you. And it frankly sucks.

There are times when we all need to take a break.

I think I’ve reached my point.

I’m pretty sure most of yall know I am a huge champion of Macon, and I still am. I love this town and I wouldn’t live anywhere else. But we all know that there are times when it just gets too damn small. It generally revolves around small town gossip. I know it does for me.

It’s just exhausting to go somewhere and *know* people are talking about you. And generally saying things that aren’t true. That’s the frustrating part.

I have certainly dealt with my share of unkind, untrue gossip over my life, especially the past couple of years. I really thought it would go away at some point but for whatever reason, I have a few people in my life who insist on consistently stirring it up.

I go to events so that I may cover them for my blog, and now also for The Cluster- the Mercer University student paper. I do these things out of a sense of community and wanting to do good and promote the awesome things about this town. Sometimes, it backfires on me. And sometimes I just get exhausted.

I like to put on this bravado and say I don’t care, but I really do. It just plain sucks for anyone to have an opinion of you that isn’t true. Like, it’s bad enough for someone to have a bad opinion of you that’s based in truth- that much you did to yourself. But when it’s based on a lie… it’s terribly frustrating.

Next weekend I will be going to an event held in honor of a classmate, and the first Mercer football game. I think after that I will be taking a hiatus. I dunno I may change my mind.

That being said, I have an amazing set of friends as well as many loyal blog followers. For those of you who read, I promise I will still post interesting content. I may even reach out to some of you to guest blog for these events. That could be fun, right?

This will also lead to my blog post about “Being 30, Divorce, and Dating in the South”- cause a: I’m sure this happens in any small Southern town and b: I mean damn good luck trying to date when you have the drama I have.

 

But then you have that moment when a friend texts you, or calls you and says ” I hope you don’t mind- but I had to stand up for you. This is ridiculous.” And then, while you are exhausted, you are also thankful that there are people like this in your life. Because it’s not easy to say to someone ” I don’t like what you are saying about my friend”. It’s a lot easier to let the unkind accusations fly, even if you don’t know them to be false or true, it’s so much easier to let them be said. Once words are said, no amount of apologies can make them go away. The sing song we are taught as children ” stick and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is frankly false.

I think about things like this when I read stories in the news about children who are bullied, kids who want to die because of the words that are said about them. We as adults see these things and are horrified but many times we aren’t able to rise above it ourselves.

 

That being said, I think it’s time I take a hiatus from society. I have a few events on my calendar that I will go to, but I’m going to be more selective from here on out. I had made a resolution last year to catch as much live music as I could here in town, but it might be time to take a step back. Next week we should have a larger staff at The Cluster, other than just us editors, so I don’t have to cover all of my stories.

It’s time to sit back and reflect. I’m going to get back to yoga, concentrate more on work, on my school- actually study for the MAT graduate exam which I missed due to my confusion from an email. Going to take more time just for me. For my kids. We can always love on our children more.

 

So, if I don’t see yall for a while this is why. Of course- I’ve said this before and not been able to stick to it. But I think it’s time.

 

Thank for yall for reading- for loving me- and for being my friends. You all know who you are.

 

Love to all y’all,

 

Molly