The Trouble With Being a Southern Lady {And Dating} – The Benefit of Having Sleazy Men In My Life
Dating these days is really, really confusing. I have a theory that being a Southern Lady makes it all the harder. Why? Because we’re taught to be nice and polite no matter what, especially towards “potential suitors”, and many times if we’re not married before 30 at least once we’re looked at kind of odd.
Now throw in that many men will only communicate over text or even Facebook message rather than picking up the damn phone and making a call. Who can tell what someone’s tone is like over text? I can only do that if I know the person really well.
Then throw in that many times men won’t just ask you to dinner- which there’s a benefit to that. Before work coffee allows for a quick getaway in case it’s bad, and for those of us who are super busy it’s nice to have that option anyway. Cause we’re just legit too busy for dinner, unless it’s a working dinner. And as a woman a hell of a lot of men, especially in the South- as I theorize, are intimidated by that.
But then there’s the guy who asks to meet super late at night, like well after dinner hours. I’m not talking about right after dinner drinks, say around 7 or 8 when it’s still early enough that you could eat a little something if you wanted to. I’m talking about meeting at ten o clock at night. Who does that?! This is one of those moments when having sleazy male friends comes in handy.
I’m perhaps over-dramatizing that. Not all guys are sleazy. And not all of my male friends are. But I have a number that I know are not exactly kind to women and not above trying to just hook up with women (let’s be honest- we all know at least a few and as much as we try to get them to behave they just won’t). This is why I have not dated them nor will I EVER in the future. So I texted one of them the other day and said ” since you’re a grade A D.B. you can tell me what this means”. I had been asked out on a date to meet around 10 for cocktails- now maybe this guy didn’t mean to come across like he just wanted to hook up but… I asked my male friend this and of course he came back with “you are correct”.
Women, especially Southern women, are going to think their way through this. Perhaps he works really late. ( I think most guys would come out and say that though- right?) Maybe he’s broke and can’t afford dinner. ( I don’t buy that one- you can go get pizza or something.) It would be rude if I didn’t at least give him a chance- right? I shouldn’t just assume he’s going for a hook up?
I dunno. Again, this is when I’m glad I’m a Southern Lady who has male friends that are…. maybe less than honorable. But then again, are there truly any “Southern Gentlemen” out there any more? Perhaps that’s another blog post…
Love to all y’all,
Molly
