A letter

I have grown up around sports pretty much my entire life, so I have seen it all.  But on my most recent trip home this past December, there were a couple of things that really stuck out to me.  I want to preface this with I know I’m not perfect and that I make mistakes all the time. Hell, at one of the basketball tournaments I had a referee ask me, while I was keeping the book for my dad, if I wanted to stay at the game because I questioned his decision of a substitution. (That decision was awful and the wrong decision…we were shooting free throws and the baseline ref had already given our player the ball and then the ref who asked me if I wanted to stay at the game, allowed the other team to sub in a player and that’s when I questioned his decision. *Subbing in a player on a free throw when the shooter already has the ball isn’t allowed because the ball is in play.*)

But this letter has nothing to do with referees or anything like that. This letter has to do with parents. Yes, I’m happy that I was fortunate to go to a high school where the parents were/still are supportive of their kid and whatever team they choose to compete on. And I’m glad that there are parents who will travel to wherever their kid’s team is playing to support their child, that warms my heart. But there are a few things that have forever perturbed me, ever since I was old enough to exactly realize what was going on. And I’ve kept my mouth shut on this issue for so long, but I’ve reached my boiling point with it, mainly because while I was home for Christmas, I got tired of listening to the parents fussing, complaining, etc… while I was doing the book or clock.  So, with that being said, the letter.

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Dear parents,

First things first, I want to thank you for allowing your child to participate in athletics. The life lessons they’ll learn from playing a sport are immeasurable. I also want to thank you for supporting your child through the ups and downs of the season, as that also teaches that life isn’t always fair and that nothing is sunshine and rainbows all the time.

However, as much as I love all of y’all for everything you do, there is something that needs to be addressed. And that is the negativity I encounter. Sometimes, you say it directly to me because you’re venting or sometimes I just accidentally overhear it because y’all are speaking near me.  But parents, this needs to stop.  Yes, I 100% get that you’re frustrated with the way the team is playing or the way your son/daughter is playing but vocally announcing your displeasure especially when you’re around the team is just a no no. Don’t you think that your kid is already feeling the pressure, not just internally but also from the coach? To add more pressure from you is, dare I say it, close to being detrimental to their psyche and ego.

That also ties in directly with the next thing I’d like to talk about with y’all, the coaching from the bleachers.  I understand that you want your child to do the best they can do and that you think that yelling/cheering/whatever you want to call it from the bleachers will help them succeed on the field or court. But parents, it doesn’t. If anything, it will
a) embarrass your child
b) embarrass the team/coach
c) make you look like you don’t know what’s going on

I have absolutely no problem with you cheering for your kid/the team when they do something good, but the coaching from the bleachers and questioning the coach’s decisions has seriously got. to. stop.  Parents, you’re not at practice every day nor do you know the locker room/team dynamics. You don’t know the decisions that the coach makes at gametime and you don’t know why the coach made those decisions. You’re not there breaking down game film after every game either. You only see what happens during games.  So please, instead of coaching from the bleachers pretending like you know what’s going on, just cheer. Cheer for the good things your kid does, the good things that the team does. But if you want to coach, find a team that needs a coach because the only coach that matters in a game is the coach sitting on the bench with the team, not the one in the stands.
So parents, as every coach on every team in the history of sports has told their team, leave the negativity at the door because negativity breeds contempt which inhibits success. So focus on the positive, carry yourself with pride and poise and I’m 100% sure that you will start seeing the success you want your child and their team to have.

Sincerely,

Katie