Prepping For A Wedding {Southern Style}
Weddings are a big deal in the South- it’s the kind of thing that happens generally only at one time of the year- and we’re in wedding season right now: the weekend after Easter Sunday until the opening of football season. The only reprieve any sane Southerner will get to have a wedding in the fall is whenever their respective football team has a bye week. And if you have multiple football alliances in the family/friend group well then you can just kiss the fall goodbye. And many churches will not allow a religious ceremony before Easter. So- wedding season it is!
It also means that many a bride will have to rush for late April weddings and May weddings or – God forbid- the dreaded Southern Summer Wedding. The kind in which everyone prays the invitation won’t read something like “three o clock” or “outdoor venue”. Blech.
There are some other things to be mindful of in the Bible Belt South when it comes to your wedding preparation- and I’m not even talking about as a bride I’m talking about as a guest!!
I’ve been thinking about these things because I’ll be attending a wedding tomorrow- so, here are my wedding coping tips:
1. Make sure to wear a suitable dress: ladies, unless you’re over the age of 55 and maybe not even then- you need to wear a dress. The type of dress will greatly depend of course on the time of day but there are other things you have to bear in mind. For one- the fabric of the dress. Yes, again the time of wedding will determine this but that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about questions like… will this dress be sweat proof? Because if it’s an outdoor wedding, a silk dress may not be your friend- y’all know what I mean. Or- will this dress fly up when I dance? Because unless this is the “we-don’t-dance-Baptists” type of wedding, there will be dancing. And not just any dancing, I’m talking about “guys who used to be in a fraternity and still dance like they are” kind of swing dancing. Be prepared for lots of spinning and twirling. Your dress should be ready for this. Go ahead and admit it- this is the best part of the wedding anyway and you would hate to miss out!
2. Seersucker Suits: guys, trust me, wear one. Unless it’s black tie- and then a tux ALWAYS WINS. Did you hear me? ALWAYS WINS. And so does seersucker.
3. Back to the “we-don’t-dance-Baptists”: be forewarned, there is such a thing as a “dry wedding”. This phenomenon doesn’t appear too often in my personal Episcopalian “we-drink-real-wine-in-church-and-it’s-the-good-stuff” crowd but it has happened to me before and when it takes you by surprise you can be sadly caught off guard. I suggest being prepared with a flask. Not just any flask, go ahead and get the good kind: a silver one that you can engrave. And stock it with Georgia’s own 13th Colony whiskey. A good flask deserves no less.
4. In case of heat: there’s a reason why you see women fanning themselves in Southern movies- even WITH air conditioning it can get too damn hot. Have a rubber band on your wrist in case you need to say to hell with it and pull your hair up. Also- grab one of those fans at the back of the church or hang on to your program. (Even if they are ugly or look weird.) You would be amazed at how good fanning yourself can feel in a Southern summer swelter when there’s not a breeze to be had.
5. Keep your eyes on the prize: did you really want to catch the bouquet? Good me neither. Go ahead and let the teenage girls have this fun and make out your exit plan well ahead of the bouquet toss before some over zealous bridesmaid forces you in the group- whether you are sans ring finger bound or not.
6. Pace yourself: there is nothing wrong with enjoying some cocktails at a wedding, but don’t be that person who is passed out or falling all over the dance floor. Because everyone WILL BE TALKING ABOUT YOU- until the next person does it.
7. Go to bed on time the night before: and this is the reason why I’m stopping my post now because I’m about to drive forever and ever to Birmingham way too early tomorrow morning. Well, my brother is. But I sure won’t get to nap in the car.
Love to all y’all,
Molly
